Gus Johnson, how do I even begin to describe him? He has single-handedly kept me interested in games that I have no business watching. He can make a meaningless Week 1 matchup between the Broncos and Bengals become the most exciting/talked about ending of the entire season.

Seriously, I am 100% sure he just orgasmed. He left the broadcast booth after the clip ended and had a smoke. Granted, the play itself was pretty amazing, but Gus takes it to another level. Could you imagine Gus calling Jordan over Ehlo? The Immaculate Reception? Montana to Clark? Nick The Brick/Kenny Smith 3 to tie in Game 1 of the 1995 NBA Finals? Gus Johnson is the english equivalent of a Spanish Soccer Announcer on Telemundo. His calls draw you into the game it's almost as if you suddenly became a "lifelong fan" of the team playing. (more on Lifelong fan in a minute) In the mean time, check out some great examples of "Gusgasms" on YouTube.

"MY NAME'S AL HARRINGTON, AND I GET BUCKETS"
[Favorite of @moes19]

"WATCH OUT, HE'S GOT RUNNING AWAY FROM THE COPS SPEED"

"BATISTA...WITH THE CAOUOUAGHOUAOIAOUGHOAUH!"
[Best way I can describe the inhuman sound he makes]

"LEWIS HAS BEEN AWESOME... LET'S IT GO... PLAYDOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!"
[Again, I can't tell exactly what he says, could be playdoh, pindo, or bingo]
Credit to @BenDubose for "PLAYDOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

[Too much Gussomeness in this clip to pick one quote]

I will seek out Gus Johnson games online whenever he calls anything, as do a couple of friends of mine. Cult of Gus, we are. Whenever Gus is calling a Texans game, it's basically the best thing in the entire world. Yesterday, Gus Johnson called the Houston vs UTEP game on CBS for the Conference USA championship, and an automatic bid to get into the NCAA Tournament. Without a win, Houston had absolutely no shot to get into the tournament, considering less than a week ago they were a .500 team. In any case, Gus Johnson + team I am a fan of = GLUED to the television, and he did not disappoint. Check this Deadspin article for the video of the call of the last few desparation threes by UTEP. "HOUSTON WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!"

Now I move on to Lifelong Cat. This was created by Rorschach on NeoGAF.com, in response to the hundreds of people who through the years have shown up into a thread after a team suddenly becomes good, makes a deep playoff run, or wins a championship. They come in, claim to be lifelong fans of said team, and probably couldn't name who was on the team the year before. Examples include Laker fans in 2000, Cavs fans since LeBron came into town, among others.

The Cat part comes into play from an internet meme. I am too lazy to describe it myself, so I will cut and paste from EncyclopediaDramatica

Longcat is a real cat (obviously). For some reason when Longcat's uninspired owners named him, they must have overlooked the extremely fucking huge length of the kitten, and they named him after his second most defining feature. Therefore Longcat's real name is Shiroi (白い), which means "white" in Japanese. This may, however, be an azn mind game to confuse black people who believe they are the longest members of the human species.

Essentially, it is a really long cat, that become an internet meme. You can do a google search of "Longcat" to learn more. "Lifelong" fan + Longcat = Lifelong Cat. I'll leave you with a sketch of what Lifelong Cat looks like.